Want to have another baby, that is.
Not now. John and I have discussed this at length, and we figure in two years' time, all of my sick time and vacation time will have regenerated. My FMLA will be intact once again, and since we are paying $200 per month each to my doctors' bills, hospital bills, and home health bills, Zach's pegnancy will be paid off by then. I will be 35. Not too old yet. And I have time to plan and do some things differently like lose weight and adopt healthier habits. Because when you face a complicated pregnancy, you wonder if any little thing could be the cause of your troubles. What if I wasn't overweight? What if I took vitamins and supplement before I got pregnant? What if, what if, what if...????? Of course the ugky truth is that, with all of the state-of-the-art advanced medical care I received, if there was some factor causing the problems, they would have figured it out between both Evan's and Zach's pregnancies. It is more likely that nothing I can do will make a difference. Having another baby will be a gamble. And will probably result in another late-preterm baby. All I can do is make sure the risk is as calculated as possible.
So there it is. I've blogged about it before, but I had to do some soul searching to be sure that I wanted to do it again for the right reasons. The consensus is that women who have had my experiences often are motivated not by the desire to have another baby, but by the deep-seated desire to have another chance at normal. I had to be sure this wasn't the case with me.