The Early Birthday

Today, we celebrated Zach's first birthday with John's side of the family. John's stepfather, a man of faith, said the blessing before the meal, and I started to cry when he thanked God for our ability to celebrate his birth. It all could've gone so differently. He racked up on toys and loved it when we sang "Happy Birthday". The flicker of the flame on the one little candle caught his attention and he kept trying to grab at it, prompting us to pull it further away, over and over. Then he had a ball digging into Grandma's homemade red velvet cake while everyone else was entertained with the sight of him with the bright red cake in his hair, his eyelashes, up his nose... I keep trying to console myself with the idea that he isn't one just yet. But it is right around the corner...