Evil Parsley

So I wrote my last post from a very gloom-and-doom place. My supply was down again and I really did think it was all over. I only pumped enough milk to give Zach one bottle that day and I was sad abut it and assumed it was the end. Well, it wasn't, and I learned some things in the process.

1.) When I said I was taking Blessed Thistle before, it actually was Milk Thistle. I was told to take Blessed Thistle by our LLL leader, and so I went to the GNC where I buy my fenugreek and Mother's Milk Tea, and they had Milk Thistle in the same area, so I got confused and was told by the guy working that evening that they were the same. But when I went to this health foods store that has an herbs section, the guy working said nope, that I was duped. I'm actually on Blessed Thistle now and in just 2 doses, it has already made a difference.

2.) The same guy knew immediately what I was doing when I picked up Fenugreek also, and he added some Red Raspberry Leaf tea to the mix. He said it enhances the effects of the Blessed Thistle. We'll see.

3.) Yep, Parsley really is evil. I had gone from pumping 4 oz. at a time (really not a lot to begin with) to a pitiful, tear-inducing 0.5 oz. or less. I thought it was because I had some busy days where I only pumped 6 or 7 times, all in a row. And that still may be a part of it, but I had also started this diet with all of these healthy foods I don't eat normally. Among them? Fresh sage and parsley, both considered galactofuges that reduce milk production. The parsley had been in this pesto I had made and was eating at pretty regular intervals. Once I stopped, I immediately went up to 3 ounces at a time after one day of pumping my standard 8 times a day.

So....
I'm back at it. Herbal supplements and pumping. And since Zach is now 8 months old, my goal of breastfeeding for one year is right around the corner. No, we didn't actually breastfeed beyond the 4th month, but I don't consider it a failure since he has continued to get breastmilk from me. Actually I'm kind of glad because I am a wuss. I should explain that! I have read up on extended breastfeeding and agree with it, but I have always felt weird about the idea of a walkie-talkie kid coming up and lifting my shirt to nurse. Well, since we don't physically breastfeed, I can continue to give Zach breastmilk without ridicule and discomfort. So now my new goal is 18 months. I don't know if I'll make it. This whole exclusive pumping thing is pretty labor intensive, but I'm going to try. My hope is that Zach will get at least some breastmilk beyond his first birthday.

So anyway, theconcludes this episode of the Boob Chronicles. For now.

Generalized Crap

Not much going on here except work, work, work, pump, work, nurse, pump, yell at Evan to do his homework, then repeat. I pretty much hate my new work schedule, even though it is what I asked for. After being off of work for over 5 months, thought I would need to get my chops back, and so I have tried to avoid signing up for several 12-hr. shifts in a row. Plus, with me waking every few hours to nurse a baby or pump, it makes it easier when there are days off in between. But.....I feel like I never have time off because the days don't come in stretches. That was, they didn't until this week. I am off until Friday night, with the exception of an 8-hour computer class on Wednesday for the new software the hospital is getting. Holy crap! So what's new?



Well, in my quest to turn myself into a one-woman dairy farm, I broke down and called our area La Leche League leader. She was wonderful, and we talked about what I could expect at the meetings and more. I gave her a brief synopsis of my breastfeeding woes and she advised me to start taking blessed thistle with my fenugreek. Ok. Done. I missed the month's meeting by 2 days, but found out they meet in my hospital! So I will be going to try it out for September's meeting. Yay! Maybe I'll meet others in the same boat.



Other than that, there is one more development. I've gone Bat-Shit Crazy! Yep, you read that correctly. As if I wasn't already an emotional minefield, I now have something new to add to the mix: I have started having nightmares. Crazy ones, too. And some that aren't terrible but just seem so....real. Yesterday I swore I woke up to the feeling of one of my progesterone injections. (This is where I admit that they hurt like HELL!) In my dream, Evan was the one giving me the shot instead of my RN, and I just kept thrashing, saying, "But I've already had my baby!" And when I awakened, I was crying. So yeah, I'm going to seek out somene to talk to. I'm starting with our hospital's EAP in the hopes that just a few sessions will be adequate, and in the event that it isn't, they can then refer me. I definitely want someone experienced in this sort of thing.


Other than this stuff, my days and nights blur together to where they are almost unrecognizable. I blame night shift. And my pump. I blame that too. It is the bane of my existence these days, especially since Iave realized that Ido not have the luxury of slacking off on this. My milk supply is too fragile. Very little increases it, but if I so much as skip one pumping or nursing session, it decreases. Unfair. But I have come to realize, with the help of Zach's weight gain and level on contentment, that each ounce of breastmilk I give him is a sort of gift. So for now, in light of all of the work it has taken, I am choosing to focus on the fact that I have been breastfeeding him for almost 4 months. One third of my goal of one year! Go Me!

On that note, I am going to pump! Ha!

Pump It, Baby!

No, this isn't an obscene post. It is more misadventures in breastfeeding.

I don't know if I've talked about pumps before, but I purchased a Medela Pump in Style while still pregnant. It was supposed to be the gold standard in pumps for working moms, so Iwas pleased. I used the Medela Symphony while in the hospital, when Zach was barely nursing, and my milk came in in full force, then tapered off. And so the drama started. I thought it may be my pump. So I bought a Medela Freestyle, also the gold standard, but with more bells and whistles. No improvement. There was a great increase in the amount I could pump that was mainly due to other things: consuming lactogenic foods, increased nursing/ pumping, taking galactogogues (Reglan, Fenugreek, Flaxseed, etc.). The Symphony is also the pump they use in the lactation room at the hospital where I work. I noticed a huge increase in what I can pump while there. At first I thought this was due to the fact that I have no choice but to go longer in between pumping breaks. It just isn't feasible to pump every 2 hours there. Another therapist has to hold my pager, my patients have to be all tucked in and in need of none of my services, and more. The most I can do is 3 breaks in a 12-hour shift. But I have tried to duplicate the pattern here at home and still get about half the amount I do at work. There is only one solution in my mind: I need to get my hands on a Symphony at home. Bring on the rental!

Well, around here, one can rent the Medela Symphony for about $110 per month. With Zach's latch issues and voracious appetite, I will need one for the duration I will be breastfeeding--at least one year. I want to give extended nursing a try but am creeped out by an older toddler reaching for my boob, so if I do it, it will only be with pumped milk. With that in mind, I would need the pump even longer. So if you do the math, it would be roughly $1.4 K to rent a pump for the next year. If I give up and go straight to formula feeding, it would be even more. So I made some phone calls, and the hospital for which I work has a Women's Wellness Boutique that carries or can order anything a nursing mother needs. And they can special order me a Medela Symphony. They even give me a 20% discount on purchases. So for about the cost of renting a Symphony, I can just buy my own. And they do payroll deduction, busting purchases up into 3 payments if desired. But this pump is costly, and it would equal about $500 per paycheck. Nah. So I called and called. I made my plea as to why I need this pump (preemie, latch issues, last resort), and they agreed to break it up into 8 payments just for me. Yay.

So this time next week, I will own my very own hospital-grade Medela Symphony Preemie Edition (It has a computer software card that, when inserted, will mimic the way Zach sucks). I'm excited, as I know it is just a effective as nursing a baby is. And the beauty is that she quoted me a price of $1500 on the phone, then when she ordered it with the preemie software, found out it is almost $2K, but she felt bad so is only charging me the $1500.

In the meantime, our trip pretty much did in the progress I was making on the supply issue. I was just too self-conscious about pumping and nursing. The business of it all had me forgetting doses of my supplements and medication. And I completely forgot my Fenugreek, and thus stopped it abruptly which can be detrimental. Between the three, I am almost back to square one. So I have to pull myself up by the bootstraps and go back to the pump-every-hour routine, which makes me want to cry. But at least I now know it can be done. Having the hospital-grade pump will certainly help in the next week or so.

All of this makes me think of the trip to B&N today. I was perusing the parenting section in search of a new copy of LLL's The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding when I saw this title:

Breastfeeding Sucks: What to Do When Your Mammaries Make You Miserable. Seriously, I about died laughing. And the cover is even better! (See right.) There was a whole line of "Sucks" books: Pregnancy Sucks, etc. Hilarious. I didn't buy any of them. They seemed entertaining, but I was there for more informative reading today. Now I am thinking about ordering it online.

So anyway, here we go. Again. The Misadventures of Ol' Bessie, the Milk Maker. Mooooooo!