My World Right Now

I'm just busy. Busy Busy Busy. Again. Still. Always.
So here are some bullet points for you. A brief synopsis of my life, and this style seems appropriate right now, considering how I am spending most of my time.

• Work fricken sucks. For some reason it has gotten busy, and I'm not sure what is going on because it isn't flu season. No new obscure respiratory epidemic has surfaced. People are just...sick. And I make a living taking care of them, and so I am busy.


• School fricken sucks. This program I am in is accelerated, so the classes are only five weeks long. The last session I took was one class, and it was still busy because it was so condensed. This time I am in 2 classes: Legal/ Ethical Environment of Business, and Management Accounting. And if one was busy, two is insanity. I have 3 2,000-word papers due for each class this coming week. That's 12K words, y'all. With 60 hours of work. And 2 kids. I want to take up drinking. But if I do that, there is no way I will comprehend the hundreds of pages of reading they have given me to do. The mind-numbing reading.


• I got an A in my marketing class. Let me rephrase that: I rocked that shit out.


• Jesus didn't show up on a cloud or with a clap of thunder and take anybody away. I never thought he was going to and realized that Camping douchebag was a nutcase, but the agnostic/ borderline-atheist in me was secretly thinking, on a very small scale, that it would suck if I was wrong.


• I paid off the last of my pregnancy bills this past week. Zach has been paid for. It only took a year of crazy work schedules and living as if we were below poverty guidelines. Now I can try to regenerate my savings and since I know I am not going to med school anymore, we can work on buying a house after I have a little bit of cushion. Or maybe I should wait until the MBA is done. Hell, who knows?


• Evan is having some major psychological problems. I can only hope it is not what I think it is. I can say that I have been doing some research and when I read this one article, my heart sank because it was like I was reading about him.


• John enrolled in classes. Just a little vocational program for HVAC, but their median starting salary is comparable to my starting base salarywas as an RT when I first graduated. It would be nice to have the extra. I would say that I would slack off at work, but that isn't true. The extra would just facilitate us reaching our goals a little quicker. (See above.)

I think that's all. Sorry. I need to spend time writing academic papers now. And ptting my brain to sleep with Business Law. Peace out, homies.

When Mommy Has Homework

And of course Mommy waits for the last possible minute because I am busy saving lives, one set of lungs at a time, for a gazillion hours a week. And if there is one thing I have learned, it is that this program I am in is definitely not for the faint of heart. As in a paper due every two days. Really, y'all, I'm not kidding. In APA format, please. Usually I manage to spit them out like crazy since I am the master of the last minute paper. When John was in school, this enabled me to be his enabler. He would wait until the last minute and I would feel bad for him and crank out a paper for him in addition to my 24 credit hours' worth of classes. And he would always get A's on my papers, and thus the bad behavior on his part was reinforced.

But these are my papers and no one is going to rescue me like I did John. And I most decidedly waited until the last minute this time. I had until 11:59 PM Colorado time to complete the paper, and I submitted it at 11:43. Well, the paper and the 2 ads I had to design for some unknown telecommunications company in North Carolina. Ask me what I know about telecomm and I will tell you I can log my ass onto the internet and hit "talk" on the cordless phone. Seriously. And I had to market a telecomm company that manages the telecomm expenses of multi-location national companies. Seriously. It is like a sick joke. And so I had to come up with this marketing plan.

Excuse me, what? A marketing plan? WTF is that?

And so I was perched at the kitchen table for hours, looking haggard in an old pair of scrubs and some reading glasses, main-lining coffee and muttering expletives under my breath in the hope that Evan, who was awake and in the adjacent room, would not hear me. And he kept coming into the room to show me something or other, or tell me some random fact he learned in school a week ago that just came to his 9-year-old brain. And I am trying to be Good Mom and act interested. I sincerely hope the "MMMM-Hmmmmm"s I kept offering up sounded like they came from the heart. I really do. But what I really wanted to say was, "Evan, Mommy has this insanely difficult farking marketing plan to write. Do you know what a marketing plan is????" But I didn't because I love him and cannot afford the extra therapy. But I must have had APA on the brain because one of the random facts he spewed in my direction was, "Mom, palm oil is killing the rainforests!" Or some shit like that. And I responded with, "That's interesting, Evan, can you cite your sources on that information?" To which John busted out laughing, asking me if I really asked that of our 9-year-old kid. And--surprise, surprise--my little smartass came back in the room and thrust his Time for Kids issue at me, exclaiming, "Here's my source, Mother." Ugh. What was supposed to happen was Evan was supposed to be stumped and try to figure out what in the hell I was asking of him. It was supposed to buy more silence, less interruptions, and at least get me through the SWOT analysis of the paper. This is what one gets when they raise a smart kid. Because then not only was he back at the kitchen table with me, but he had the magazine and he actually wanted me to read the oh-so-interesting article of how palm oil is going to kill off all of the rainforests. Seriously. So when I looked at him and said, "Yes, Evan, but how is TeleSource going to reach a bigger market segment to compete for a bigger piece of the telecommunication dollars pie???", his eyes glazed over and he finally left me alone.

And now I realized I never got a goodnight hug. But the damned paper was in on time.

This is what I get when I say I want it all. I get just that. And something or someone always suffers just a bit.

What Have I Done?

Busy busy busy. Still.

Aside from working 60 hours this past week, I also started the journey that is to be my business degree. The online program is supposed to be easy, right? Since I have all of the pre- and co-requisites completed from my other degree, all I have to do is take my business courses and the degree will be awarded and I can move onto the masters. Okay. And this is an accelerated online program, so each class is approximately 5 to 6 weeks long. 2 courses at a time. No breaks for summer, which has me finishing early next fall.

Oh. Crap.

Because I started. I got my glossy new texts and I delved into the world of marketing. And my professor has us completing a paper or presentation literally every 48 hours. Because, in a degree program designed for adults with other obligations like job and family, there couldn't possibly be anything else for me to do other than prepare fictional marketing plans and writing papers to critique the business practices of the establishments I frequent. Along with 10 chapters of reading each week.

Maybe, just maybe, I will lose the little bit of sanity I have left.

Maybe all of my hair will turn gray.

What is more likely is that I will pull myself up by the bootstraps and get it done just like I always do.

And for an extra dose of fun? I submitted my application and resume for a PRN therapist position at a local rehab hospital. And they bit. Hard. As a matter of fact, I simply emailed about the position before I submitted anything and had the interview already scheduled before I had even updated my resume and started the app. A second job. For when I don't get as much overtime as I like. Like that ever happens.

Such is my life as a workaholic student wife mommy. Sometimes when you want it all, that is exactly what you get.

Proof of Life

Sorry. Not much to post about. Working like crazy, recovering well from the tendonitis in my left foot and ankle. Starting classes in a couple of days and spending my non-working hours doing such thinks as making sure I know how to navigate the online college experience and obtaining textbooks and needed software. Plus we are in the market for a new car and I have been dealing with that as well. So far, I have looked at the VW Toureg (too expensive), the VW Routan (grrr, a minivan), the CR-V (not much more room than we have now). Next up is the Chevy Traverse (love it, but we'll see what the dealer can do for me on price). Plus I'm trying to finish the book I've been reading that is completely unrelated to work or school before I find myself in the throes of juggling like a madwoman again. Sorry. Boring boring boring. Hope everyone is doing well out there in the Blog World. P.S. Zach has 2 teeth now. So cute.

Worry and Frustration

Evan has ADHD. You can spend 10 minutes with him and tell. We tried everything before we go the diagnosis because I believed, and still do, that the diagnosis is completely misused. Is your kid creative and bright and maybe a little bored? Medicate him. Does he not fit into the cookie-cutter image of other kids? Medicate him. It is so frustrating as a parent.

We tried everything. We met with a private psychologist, had meetings with the teacher and the guidance counselor of his school. We were told he was just really gifted and bored. And so we relayed the info to the proper people, and still received the same treatment. Pressure to put him on medication.

And then it got worse. And we took him to our family doctor, who could tell within a few minutes that he did have ADHD. We left that day with a script for ritalin. And it did nothing. Change it to Adderall and it worked. But it worked too well. You can look at the pictures of Evan over the years and tell the exact point where he started the medicine because it is like someone dimmed the light in his face, the spark in his eyes. It breaks my heart. He wouldn't eat, either. And at 8 years old, he lost so much that he dropped 25% of his weight in 3 months. And the Adderall was stopped immediately. We tried not medicating him and that lasted for about 2 weeks before we were back in the doctor's office, begging them to find something, anything to help him. The answer was Straterra, which lasted all of 2 days. Enter Concerta, and the kiddo was doin g better in class, but started to have more problems: manipulative, conniving, angry. After a couple of months of this, we said "enough" and didn't refill the prescription. That lasted about a month.

2 weeks ago, the principal of his school called us in the middle of the day and told us to not bother bringing Evan back to school unless he was medicated. I understood that he was having issues, but some of it was a stretch. For example, he got a behavior notice sent home because he accidentally farted in class. I swear. I know it's gross and we teach him manners, but he is a young boy. And when I asked him about it, he said he had a belly ache that day and he accidentally farted when he bent over to pick up a dropped pencil. And he said "excuse me". And he got a behavior notice.

I was angry at being forced to medicate him. Which, if we get down to brass tacks, was really what was happening. But what do I do? So I made an appointment for him and John took him. We asked them to put him back on Adderall because that is the only thing that got him to behave in school. I figured we could avoid the nasty side effects by just adjusting his dose. That was this past Friday. He started the medicine and--Wham!--the side effects started. The last time it at least took a few days for this to start happening. He acts like a Zombie. He won't eat. He behaves alright. Because he is too depressed and tired to misbehave. Well for the past 3 nights, he has not been sleeping at all. And complaining of a headache. And either vomiting or dry-heaving. I just had to page our family doctor and they called in a prescription for Phenergan so the poor kid can at least try to sleep without vomiting. It's horrible.
Tomorrow we take him to the doctor. And they are going to do something about this or he is stopping the medicine. I will home-school the child if I have to, though I believe doing so deprives kids of the normal social experiences of childhood. But a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.

Welcome To Nerdom

Welcome to Nerdom where I am your Queen.
I have to explain and I cannot believe that I am going to admit this in black and white on the damned internet.
Tonight I went to Staples for supplies for school.
Like I am fricken starting kindergarten and my Mommy is going emblazon my name in permanent black block letters on everything from my requisite 2 boxes of tissues, all the way down to my shiny new crayons.
Except I'm not in kindergarten. And I am a grown-ass woman. Seriously.

So I get my binders and dividers, color-coded by subject. My new planner that has enough space to write assignments and exams and other details. Pens and white-out and post-its. And I feel so silly and stupid because, while nobody else knows what is going on in my head, I know.
And what is going on in my head? That I love new school supplies. And textbooks. And school in general. And I am almost giddy about it. Maybe it is because I was pretty much forced to abandon my education, not only when my mother died when I was a freshman in college, but also during pregnancy. And I want to get back to it.
Or maybe I'm just a nerd and there is no other reason than that. Because honestly, I could think of nothing more enjoyable than taking classes that interest me for the rest of my natural life. To always be learning. And so I am ready. Ready ready ready.
My first class, incidentally, is Marketing. Ha!

Going Back

My name is Andrea, and I'm a student.

Again.

Barring any complications, I head back to class on April 3rd to begin the completion of my business degree. Since everything else is good to go, all I have to do to get a Bachelors o Science in Business Admin. with an emphasis on healthcare administration is to take the actual business courses. My stuff from my other degree exempts me from the rest.

It sounds so strange. Me. A business major.

Life does funny things to us sometimes. I never saw myself doing anything other than medicine. Never wanting to do anything else. Strange how having Zachy changed me that much. But not one for stagnation, I want to ensure that I have the needed degrees to take my current career as far as I want. Years from now, I don't want to be limited because I didn't take the time to get the degrees while I had the chance.

I'm doing a program that will have it all finished within 18 months so I can hurry up and move onto my MBA in healthcare management. I'm nervous and excited. I usually perform very well academically, and you cannot convince me that these courses will be any more of a challenge, or even as much of a challenge, as graduate-level human genetics, where I actually extracted and mapped DNA, or senior-level o.chem, which just about killed me, I swear. And I did all of thesre while working 70 hours per week, while being Mom Extraordinare, John's keeper, and keeping straight A's. Can you tell I'm trying to give myself a pep talk?

Because I have officially been out of school for a year. And now I have 2 kids, one of which is a baby who wants to wreak havoc on my laptop each and everytime I open it up.

I can do this, right?

I'm both excited and nervous. The less I am doing, the more bored and stressed I get. I'm the weird one for which happiness means a bursting schedule and a to-do list as long as I am tall. So on that note, I'm ready to go back. It's just that doing so means the end of this chapter: the chapter of my pregnancy, Zach's birth, and Zach's first year of life. I gave him as much of myself as I could for this past year. We both needed it. Now it time for me to do something for myself once again.

Let the juggling begin.

The Great Homework Caper

Everyday, when Ev gets home from school, we ask him if he has homework and if so, we expect him to do it right then and there. We do not screw around with school work at all. Period. More often than not, he says he doesn't have any. A couple of times he has said he left the necessary books at school. We get on him, but that doesn't seem to have an effect on him. On the nights he says he has none? Well, I have to trust him, right?

So imagine my surprise when his teacher has him call one day last week. The night before was one of the nights he had told us he had no homework. Apparently the next morning, in front of his teacher, the excuse turned to "I left my books at home". Since she is the one doing the assigning,he an't very well lie to her about having homework. So he calls us and tells us he needs his books. Where are they, Evan? He doesn't know. John and I tear the house apart looking for them, but they are nowhere to be found. Shortly after, his teacher calls and requests a conference. Great. We said we'd be there that very day when school was dismissed.

Turns out my sweet, highly gifted oldest son has decided to take a complete strike from homework. She said he had done homework 2 times in 3 weeks, and had not had recess since the very first day of school because of this. I was a little puzzled as to why I didn't know about this beforehand. The books he couldn't find? They were in his desk the entire time, but he couldn't very well tell her that or she would see into his little scheme. I could have killed him!

So that was the night that Evan came home from school and sat at the kitchen table for 4 hours, catching up on every scrap of work he has missed. And the night he lost every priviledge he has: tv, computer, video games, iPod, toys...You name it, and I can bet it's off limits to my kid until he can prove to me that he can manage to do the one job he has.

Summer's End

Next week, Evan heads off to the big Third Grade. Our summer vacation is over. The summer that 3 became 4. The Summer of Zachary. Of recovery. Of Evan learning to be a big brother. Wow.

I remember when I first found out my due date, when I first discovered Zach was coming. I had all of these rosy visions of my summer off of work, on maternity leave, with nothing to do but hang with my boys. Ha! I should've known that, with my history of my pregnancy with Evan, things would not go as planned. Instead of having 6 weeks of time with just Evan once school let out last year before Zach's arrival, Zach came home from the hospital 2 days before Evan's last day. So the entire summer was spent adapting to having 2 instead of 1. So much for quality me with just Evan. So much for plans.

So now here we are. Ev goes back the 16th of August. We are one year closer to the day when he will be heading off to college. Of course this dreaded day is being rushed as we are trying to make the decision on whether we should send our little angel to the gifted and talented school in 5 th grade like is being reccommended to us. This would mean he would be graduating 3 years early. Right now, I can't even handle the thought. But in the meantime, 3rd grade is.