They Put Anything on TV These Days

So I have to post this. Because John was watching this completely innapropriate show called Robot Chicken some time ago. Have you seen this? Well,I was reading, completely not looking when I hear this " thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk". And I look up and see the clip. And almost peed my pants. I had to share because I needed the laugh.

Police Women of Cincinnati

I’ve been pondering how I feel about this show A) as a somewhat-feminist, and B) as a woman, and C) as native of Cincinnati.

Oh Hell.

I have to admit that the show is entertaining. John and I have been known to watch it. And it is sort of amusing to see these locations on the small screen and know exactly where they are showing/ talking about. And then it sinks in. That there are others out there who have never been here to Cincy and have no idea that the areas they are showing are our inner city, and this is not the whole of my hometown. Can they not just show a few traffic stops in some of the nice areas just so the rest of the world can know that they exist. So there’s that- the sheer embarrassment.

And then I am full of girl pride for some killer women out there handling business. Go, girls.

But really? Really really? If these officers were men, they wouldn’t have their own show. Well, there’s Cops, but they include both male and female officers. Does TLC’s making a show about women officers mean that it is an extraordinary thing? That this is abnormal? I mean, I’m not trying to belittle the bravery of any law enforcement—male or female—who put their butts on the line to keep us safe. I could not imagine a job where I had to strap on kevlar to start my workday. But why the big distinction between man and woman if we are equal in the workplace?

So I don’t know how I feel about this show. I’ll just have to keep watching until I figure it out.

Image: Officer Colleen,, of TLC’s Police Women of Cincinnati, getting ready to kick some ass and take some names.

Yeah, Whatevs, We Didn't Make It

I don't even think I mentioned this but...

A little over a month ago,I got seriously frustrated with my fam. Now before I make it sound like John is my bitch, let me explain that I work very, very long hours while John is home. I also make concessions because I am pretty OCD about the house and Martha-Fricken-Stewart could not keep a house to my specifications. So while I have all of the faith in the world in my husband, I know he can't keep me happy on that front. But seriously.

There was one day where I came home from work and Evan's dirty boxers were on the windowsill in the bathroom. And I was beyond grossed out. And so I talked to John about it. And Evan, because, face it, Ev is old enough to know where his dirty skivvies go. And I thought they got it. And then I came home the next week to garbage all on the floor around the garbage can, but not actually in it. And when I confronted my beloved boys yet again, the response was just that it was so difficult to keep up with Zach and clean at the same time. He almost had me feeling kind of bad for him. Almost.

Then I started to think of the Ergo carrier I bought for that purpose, because John refused to try the MobyWrap. And then I thought of how Zach has to be the easiest baby on the planet. During the day, he needs not much more than a few diaper changes and a few bottles. And at night when I'm at work? Pffft! Zach goes to bed no later than 8 PM and doesn't wake until I come home in the morning.

And then something clicked in my brain. And I realized that while John and Evan couldn't possibly clean because Zach kept them too busy, they sure had enough time to be able to report to me anything and everything that had happened on television that night. So-and-so beat You-know-who on WWE Raw. Snooki's pouf was exceptionally big that night. MerDer had the sweetest moment on Greys. And Guess who's hubster was sleeping with what's-her-name's on Desperate Housewives. But the garbage was on the floor around my garbage can.

And I swear, I cannot believe I didn't catch on sooner. I mean, really? And so I thought deeply on the matter. Okay, not really "deeply". I thought for about 15 minutes. And then I cancelled out cable. Ha! Hahahahaha! Read some books, you brats! Take that!

Only it kinda sucked. And it didn't work. Instead of being more productive, they would just drop me off at work and then go and rent stacks upon stacks of movies. Evan's homework still suffered. The house was still a mess. The only difference was that I couldn't watch anything either. Me! I did what my mom always told me not to do: "Andi, don't cut off your nose to spite your face!" Well after that, my face had no nose.

So yesterday, the cable man came back, in the snow, to hook the cable back up. We are sad. We are pitiful. We cannot live without the television.

Just Have a Seat

John and I have become addicted to a show that has disturbed me ever since I first viewed it, considering my role as Mom Extroadinaire. To Catch a Predator. Ewww.

Although NBC's Chris Hansen has to be the coolest cat ever. Faced with these men who have gone to great lengths to commit crimes against humanity and innocence, he never loses his grip, making him my new hero.

There is certainly nothing funny about the show, but it remains darkly humerous to us that these seemingly-normal men have gotten themselves busted in such a public manner. And it brings to light the harsh reality that there are sickos out there who would prey on our children in that way. I don't worry for Zach--not yet anyway. I worry for Evan. It scares me that he has such an innocence to him that he will blindly trust anyone who smiles at him. How do you teach him otherwise without cracking that innocence and trust in the goodness of others in such a way that it is unfixable? And as he grows and matures and tries to venture out from under our wings, that worry becomes less irrational and more justifiable. He's growing up. And as he does, he gets more difficult to protect.
This leaves me to think, in terror, of what I would do and how I would react if someone were to ever, well, mess with him. I think I would have to kill someone. Our entire world would fracture and splinter into a million pieces.