I’m a Techno-Moron

So my computer died. And I went running and screaming like a little girl this very afternoon and now I am feeling all proud of myself and ultra-cool and high-tech because I bought a laptop instead of a desktop. Not my MacBook like I wanted, but a Dell. And I just had to blog about this because I am laying on my living room floor and blogging and am uber-excited about it. Incidentally, I am playing with this new toy and some of its gadgets that I must tell you about, but I feel like such a dork because I am so fricken excited that I can do this.

I should explain that I can recall the day when one had to use DOS prompts to start a computer. And I remember sitting in my english class for gifted and talented nerds like me when our teacher came into the room telling us of this article he had read where you would one day be able to play cd’s on the computer!!! Yep, the invention of the CD-ROM. I witnessed it. And the Challenger disaster. And the fall of the Berlin wall. I remember the first Mac, with that fancy little invention called a mouse. Yep, I’m that old. I also remember when cell phones required a shoulder bag/battery and the receiver was the size of a fricken cinder block. So I am sure, with all of this in mind, you can forgive my reluctance to switch from desktop to laptop. And you can forgive my dorky excitement that I have taken my huge cyber-leap.

Now, this new toy of mine has Windows 7 on it. Not sure if I like it or not. It seems better than my desktop, which had yucky Vista on it. But there is one new feature I am loving that prompted me to write a new blog post: Windows Live Writer. It’s like blog magic, I tell ya! It asked for the web address of my blog, as well as my user name and password, and basically I am typing this like I am a word document, but somehow, it is coming up with my blog. It looks like a Word window, with the task bar and everything, but it is like I am writing live on my blog. Even the font it publishes in and everything. I’m in love. I’m retarded. But there you have it!

Next up: I’ll take a pic of me typing while I do it with the integrated webcam. That’d really be fancy, y’all!

My First Time

My first Bloggy award. Yayayayayayayay. Thanks to SarcasmInAction for thinking of Lil' Ol' Me! If you haven't yet, check her out. She cracketh me up! So I'm new to this award thingy, but I think I now have to tell you 7 things about myself. I assume it's 7 things I haven't mentioned yet, so here goes:

1. I played classical flute for 12 years. Which makes me a band geek, I think. Instead I tried to shrug this off and categorize myself as one of the uber-cool ones who was a Serious Musician. Ha! I actually majored in music during my first drunken go-round at college. Then my mother died, I dropped out of school, and since she was my biggest fan, I eventually stopped playing. Every couple of years or so, John tries to get me to buy a flute and rekindle that part of my past. I never have...

2. I am such a nerd that I think one of my favorite smells has to be new text books. Just don't ask. I lead a sad, sad existence.

3. I have 36 pairs of work shoes, I swear. WTF, you ask? Well it goes like this: I'm a fatty, and I work hellacious hours on my feet. On concrete. Running to-and-fro to codes and emergencies and impending patient disasters. And my poor fat feet scream in pain at the end of my shift. As a result, I am always, always in the market for the miracle shoe that will reverse the force of gravity and make my feet not hurt. I don't think there is such a shoe. The closest I have found was a high-end pair of Asics running shoes. I had worked twelve 12-hr. shifts in a row and my feet hurt so bad that I went to Dick's and told the sales guy that I really didn't give 2 craps about look or price. And when I tried them on, they felt so good that I embarrassed John by actually tearing up. They were $190. And the ugliest shoes I have ever seen. And that next night at work, they got splashed with puke during a suction-canister misshap in the middle of a code. Sigh...

4. I've never had a glass of wine. Everyone talks about wine, and I want to be cool like that, but wine kind of scares me. I mean, have you ever shopped for a bottle when you know nothing about it? The vast selection and type and etiquette surrounding it...Gah! I want to try it. I want to be the cool, hip chick who returns from work to a nice glass, but there are some problems with this. A) I return from work at 7AM. To have a glass of wine then seems like borderline-alcoholism. B) I don't have wine glasses. My Curious-George husband breaks everything that isn't plastic or doesn't bounce when it hits the floor. How pathetic would it be to drink wine from a plastic cup???

5. I have no social life. Seriously. Before I had Zach, I went back and forth to work and school. The little time had in-between was reserved solely for my family. Now I work like crazy and am getting ready to go back to school in the aftermath of the Pregnancy from Hell. This Sunday, I'm going to a baby shower for a coworker and it will mark the first occasion where I will actually leave the house without my entire family. Although I'm taking Zachy, so I don't even know if this counts...

6. There are a few songs that can reduce me to a blubbering, sobbing mess right now. Amazing by Janelle, Wires by Athlete, and Miracle by Celine Dion. I discovered this the other day becaue they are on my mp3 player. I didn't put them there, but it automatically syncs when it is plugged into the computer to charge. So as I'm going to work the other day, one of them started playing and I started crying so hard that I had to pull the car over and let it pass. And there's a story there. When I was enduring my 5 months of bedrest with Zachy, and I was having 30+ contractions an hour and just trying to hang on, I would search preemie videos on Youtube daily. A baby at 30 wks, 31 wks, 32 wks, and on and on, to encourage myself. To show myself what I was fighting to avoid and also to show myself that if it got to the point where I couldn't go any longer, that Zach would be okay in the long run because those babies were. And almost without fail, those were the songs in all of the videos. And when I hear them, I can simultaneously feel those damned contractions and see Zach's face. They got me through a pregnancy, but it is all still too raw to revisit.

7. I have OCD when it comes to the appearance of my offspring. I'm a little more laid-back with Zach. When Ev was a baby, I would literally match his pacifier to his receiving blanket to his outfit. And if he would spit up and the outfit had to be changed? The whole ensemble was switched out. The problem with this was that Evan had the reflux of a preemie and would spew like a fricken fountain. I'm not this crazy with Zach. Zach is clean and well-dressed. You will never see him out of the house in a Onesie (Onesies are underwear for babies!) or a sleeper (Do YOU wear footed pj's to the mall????), but other than that, I've turned the crazy down a few notches.


So there are my seven. My neuroses wrapped up just for you. Now I have to bestow upon 5 fellow Bloggy peeps this same honor.

Drumroll.....

Mama Ferris at Not Your Average Ferris Wheel . Why? Because she's awesome.And she helped get me through some of my darkest days. And her babe is adorable. And her husband is uber-talented.

Quincy at Learn to Enjoy. Because she is the coolest young woman and the world is her oyster.

Mary at The Gift of Fat. Funny, funny woman that she is...

And Jenny at I'm A Coach's Wife. Her thoughts make me laugh and remind me that I am somewhat normal because she has them too. Maybe.

Amanda at It's Blogworthy. Because she's also funny as hell. And also has a Cutey McCutester baby.

Run with it, Ladies.