The Art of Coercion and the Hippie Store

Okay. I mean no offense to anyone by saying this. I am in no way a "crunchy mama". I'm spoiled by my creature comforts, and have never really given a damn. Until recently. I've blogged about the changes having Zach has made in my personality, so I won't go there. But I have had something on my mind for awhile, and last night, when I couldn't sleep, I started googling again in the name of research.

I want to cloth-diaper Zach. Yeah, I said it. You read correctly. John, on the other hand, has no interest. The seed was planted in my mind a while back, but I thought it to be me being my crazy self once again. And last night I was looking online for a store that sells the baby carrier I want somewhere in my area. Yeah, I could order it online, but I want to try it on before I spend the $140 for essentially just buckles and straps. This necessitates some searchng in my area.

And so I found the Hippie Store. No, that isn't it's real name, but names have been changed to protect the innocent. In reality, it's a type of general store near downtown Cincy that specializes in green alternatives. And they have an entire section on baby stuff, complete with 2 of the carriers I am interested in (bECO Butterfly or Gemini, and the Ergo carriers). And--gasp--they have an entire section on cloth diapering, including classes. Really the store seems kind of cool: it claims to be a mixup of nationally-recognized brands associated with being green, environmentally-conscious products from local vndors, and even some homemade wares. I soooooo want to go.

So when I have finally gotten sleepy and I crawl into bed at 5 AM, John stirs and looks at the clock. And asks me what I have been up to all night. Perfect opening!

Me: "I've been doing some research and thinking about stuff."
John: "What stuff?"
Me: "Oh, just....stuff." (Ha! see how I grabbed him by his curiousity!)
John: "Tell me!"
Me: "Well, I really want to cloth-diaper Zach."
John: "Seriously? Don't you think it would be kind of gross?"
Me: "Nope, he's perfect for it! He only poops once every 1 to 2 days, and that's the bad part. Plus, for 50 bucks, you can buy a sprayer that hooks to the toilet and sprays the poop away so it can be flushed."
John: "Well, it's your prerogative." (This had me singing the Bobby Brown song in my head.)

So today, I tell John I want to go somewhere on Thursday. Of course he wants to know where. We go everywhere together when I'm off or the kids are involved. He wants to go with. I tell him no. He insists, and I reluctantly tell him I want to go to a store. "What store?", he asks. I tell him the name. And he wants to know what it is. I explain, and he cracks up laughing. "It's a fricken HIPPIE STORE! No way! I'm going. I can't miss this! Are you going to buy a flute or carve your own out of a tree branch?" (By this, he is referring to a commercial where they were playing a wooden fife, which, for lack of a better term, he dubbed the "hippie flute".) "No John. No flutes. I want to look into buying my carrier I want, and they have it," I explain. Of course he sees through me. And points out that he knows I am going to lure him into cloth diapering.

Of course he's absolutely, 100% correct.
But he doesn't need to know this. Instead, I will browse and "stumble" upon the diapering section. And I will casually pick up the packages of the cute covers, looking kind of disappointed that I am not buying them. And he will tell me to go ahead and buy a few. And I will agree to do so, just to "try them out on Zach". And during the trial period, I will play to his caring daddy side and point out how they are so much better for Zach, with their lack of chemicals and breathability. And how can he say no if it is good for the bambino? And then I will go and buy the motherload of them. And we will say goodbye to disposables. And my baby's poopy diapers will no longer be to blame for clogging landfills for 100 years.

Of course this could all backfire with one massive blowout from Zach. Breastfed baby poop may not stink as bad, but it is definitely messier. Stay tuned for results....