I was going to blog about how I am being selfish today. I insisted on getting my shower, and escaped to my room, to the computer , with my Lean Pocket and a bottle of water. Selfish Mommy. But then Zach started to fuss, and I ended up nursing him with a towel still wrapped around my head. Then I realized that it is really hot outside, where Evan is playing, and so I insisted on him coming inside to get some water. But in that process, I realized how trashed his room is, and so the battle ensued. Then Zach started to fuss again.
Now? The Lean Pocket is cold, the bottle of water is warm, I am wearing Zach in our Moby Wrap, and fighting with Evan that microwave popcorn is not a proper lunch. My original intent was to hide out here, ignoring the vast array of household chores I could be doing. I think I just needed a mental health break. What I am getting is something in between the break I wanted and sheer chaos that could have been. Zach is drifting off to sleep in the Moby, his small baby-lotion-scented head tucked warmly under my chin. Evan is doing whatever it is that Evan, well, does. I am left wondering if I should surrender the fantasy and just wash the damned dishes or vacuum or something.
Such is life.