Sleep when the baby sleeps? Isn't that what they tell new moms? Well, whoever came up with that crap didn't have another 8-year-old to raise. So Zach goes to sleep, and I try to hurry and clean whatever needs it before he wakes up and needs to nurse. And I am trying to be patient with Evan, I really am. But in all of Zach's cuteness, Evan cannot resist touching his tiny feet or kissing his smooth forehead. So Zach wakes up prematurely, then I get frustrated. Or I get the house picked up in a whirlwind of activity, nurse the newly-awakened Zachary, all while dreaming of what I can do the next time he drifts off, since the housework is done. Maybe I could-gasp!-take an uninterrupted shower or read a little or just step outside and bask in the silence and sunshine. Or maybe-just maybe-I could eat! But then, at some point during my daydream, Evan has emptied the basket of baby toys (all of which Zach is too young for, by the way) all over the floor to "play with Zach". Or he has decided he needs a snack and has left a trail of Goldfish crackers through the house. Or just could not find the DVD he was looking for and has emptied the drawers on the entertainment center to find the elusive disc. Whatever it is, there is always more to do. I should just stop torturing myself with visions of free time.
In the meantime, the sleep situation at night has gotten worse. Last night, after nursing Zach for the last time before bed, he decided he was going to be completely alert. Well, he is just so cute that I cannot even think about putting him down when he is in that state. It feels like a wasted opportunity to me. I want to soak up every minute. But the problem last night was that even after the bedtime meal, the period of alertness, and some bonding, he still didn't want to close his eyes. And he stayed like this until it was time for his next meal..and the next. And before we even knew it, it was 5 AM, and he finally drifted off. For 2 hours, at which point he had peed through his diaper and wanted another meal. Of course the drawback of breastfeeding is that his meals have to come from me (especially now, as I want to boost my supply before my big return to work next week). So I am still awake, it is 9:56 AM, and John is asleep. He said we would "take turns". He assures me I will get a turn for a nap later, and he better be right!