(If you don't like the music, scroll down and you can control it on the right side. But I like it, so there! )

Monday, July 5, 2010

Lucky Me

Last night, I got the call I have been dreading since my return to work. To the NICU. For a preemie.
I got to work on the baby immediately. A little boy. 3 lbs., 4 oz. Tiny, yet perfectly made. Lungs not wanting to work. I didn't ask questions, other than to make sure we weren't dealing with something that would affect his treatment. No meconium aspiration. C-section delivery. He was obviously a preemie. Gestational age? 35 weeks, 5 days. Delivered after an amniocentesis assured mature lungs, and a long struggle with preterm labor for the mom.
Chills ran up my spine.
You know, I try to treat all of my patients the same. I try to treat them as I would want my loved ones to be treated if one of them were to fall ill. But I would be lying if I said anything other than that I treated this baby better than any other patient I have ever had. My touch was more gentle. My dealings with the family more compassionate. How could they not be? I saw Zach's and Evan's angel faces in his eyes. And my heart broke just a bit for the moments where I have allowed myself to forget that both of my boys are true miracles. We are so blessed. We are the lucky ones. How could I ever permit myself to forget that for even a second?
I have made a decision. My hospital is building a state-of-the-art new NICU so we no longer have to ship such high-risk cases out. They are, as we speak, assembling a core team of therapists for the role in the NICU. I didn't think I could stomach it. I thought it would rip my heart out daily. I thought this was a good reason to say no. Now I know that this level of care and understanding makes me tailor-made for the job. When working with adults, one has to be almost heartless to make it through. For this job? One has to be all heart.


  1. You are truly dedicated. I definitely admire your courage because that could not have been easy.

  2. p.s. better together is our wedding song and our anniversary is in 3 days. thanks for playing it!